How To Control Monkey Mind

Andre Mouton/unsplash

Source: Andre Mouton/unsplash

If you've always tried meditation, you lot've probably encountered the "monkey mind." Information technology's that part of your mind that refuses to shut up, can't just relax and allow go, and is always looking for problems, even where there are none. Trying to exert command over the monkey listen unremarkably emboldens it to run further amok. In fact, inquiry on cognitive command finds that trying to suppress the monkey listen often triggers rebound or ironic idea processes—equally in when someone tells you not to think about something like a white bear, you find that you can't get the paradigm of a white bear out of your mind. Trying to suppress thoughts makes them pop dorsum upwards even stronger.

A mutual remedy is to give the monkey something else to do as a distraction, similar repeating a mantra or affidavit or doing some elaborate visualization to go on the monkey occupied. Simply the monkey is still very active, information technology'due south but playing with a specific toy.

Some other method that might seem counterintuitive at kickoff is to watch your monkey listen in the mirror. Although the mirror won't reveal your actual thoughts, the mirror will show you how your thoughts are affecting you—with exquisite accuracy. The mirror reflects just how unruly our minds are—and that our default is to wait for flaws and problems. In fact, the mirror may even magnify this process—but mirrors tin also be used to enhance our sensation and wearisome the thought process down so we can encounter it more clearly.

At outset, the mirror turns the monkey mind onto your physical image as its subject and volition shine a spotlight on your self-criticisms, flaws, and foibles. Remember this is a natural procedure that happens to most everyone. Only, if you hold an intention to increase self-awareness, you'll discover that yous can, in fact, free yourself from the monkey'due south criticism. Not past fugitive looking at yourself—or pretending information technology's not at that place, but past intending to meet conspicuously and modify your perspective. When you are aware of how easily your self-criticisms can exist evoked to an exterior stimulus like a mirror, you begin to have more than awareness over the emotions that come from your self-critical thoughts.

You'll also get a new perspective on where you lot'll let your mind roam. The mirror presents a golden opportunity to take control of your attention. You might be astonished to realize how much of your time and attending goes into focusing what you look like. Using the mirror with a clear intention is the key to seeing beyond your surface appearance and shining light on your inner critic(s). Looking at yourself in the mirror as meditation volition assist you become more enlightened of how you disregard yourself through cocky-criticism and self-objectification. Every bit you look at yourself for an extended period of time, you lot create a container—an exploratory space to become more than aware of how y'all see (and don't see) yourself. It allows you to tiresome the monkey listen downwardly and identify the triggers of distraction, trouble-seeking, and self-criticism. You'll gain insights into how your thoughts touch on you lot.

This mirror meditation practice is based on the three key intentions of mindfulness meditation: attending to the present moment, open awareness, and kind intention toward yourself.

Being in the present moment means intending to keep your attention in the here and now. If yous find yourself drifting off into thinking almost what has already happened or imaging the futurity, y'all gently return to yourself and your reflection in the here and now. Information technology's a way of practicing mindful cocky-awareness. Our minds naturally migrate from thing to thing. What differentiates an experienced meditator from a novice isn't how ofttimes the mind drifts, simply how quickly and easily the meditator can come back to the present moment. So, you'll do simply bringing your attention back to yourself in the nowadays moment, letting get of whatsoever self-judgments, and knowing that however you lot're doing information technology is quite all right.
Open awareness is about being receptive to whatever may arise in the moment. As you lot look at yourself, you may await to feel critical but actually, feel some delight instead—or vice versa. Or yous may see something in yourself that you hadn't seen earlier. Be open to experiencing anything and everything that'southward possible as you do the meditation. Let go of preconceived ideas about what should happen or even what you'd similar to have happened during the meditation. You may be surprised by what comes into your sensation by merely beingness open to receiving without judgment.
A kind intention allows yous to arroyo looking at yourself with an mental attitude of caring and respect—compassionate awareness. I believe this is the almost important element. Sociopaths usually accept their attention focused on the present moment with open awareness for anything that might happen, though they definitely lack kind intention! Simply practice seeing yourself in a kind way. Judgments about your appearance may come into your sensation. Looking at your image may evoke stories from your by. Stiff emotions may arise. Any y'all're experiencing retrieve to agree yourself with care, as you would a dearest friend. And yes, I know it takes practise! When nosotros practice holding these intentions equally nosotros look at ourselves, the mirror becomes a tool to transform self-criticism and self-objectification into self-compassion and self-acceptance.

A 5-Stride Mirror Meditation

1. Prepare the space.

Choose a well-lit space where you tin can position a mirror so that it'southward freestanding and you can see into your eyes without straining or leaning frontward. Sit on a meditation cushion or on a chair with both feet on the ground. Set a timer for v minutes to brainstorm (you will work upwards to 10 minutes). Have no goals other than to sit with yourself for the allotted fourth dimension.

2. Notice your breathing.

Begin with your eyes closed. Tune in to your breath. Are you belongings your breath or breathing quickly? Take a few irksome, deep belly breaths. Then breathe regularly and naturally, just observing your jiff move your belly, ribcage, and collarbones as you inhale and and so gently contracting your collarbones, ribcage and belly every bit yous exhale. Notice any areas of tension in your body, especially your confront and shoulders, then imagine sending your breath to relax those areas and letting the tension melt away.

3. Begin to look into your eyes.

Notice if your animate changes when your first look at yourself. Come up dorsum to total steady breathing. Detect the quality of your gaze: Is it harsh or soft? Endeavor to soften your gaze equally much as you can. If y'all find yourself hardening by focusing on a detail or a flaw in your advent—breathe until y'all feel yourself softening again.

4. Flip your critic.

If your initial reaction to looking at yourself is critical, notice your eyes as you look at yourself in this exacting, maybe even harsh or common cold style—see if you can flip your attention from the person (or epitome in the mirror) that you lot are scrutinizing to seeing the person who is underneath receiving that scrutiny—that'southward who you really are. How does that office of yous feel be receiving those critiques?

5. Runway your attending, expand your sensation—kindly.

Gaze at your reflection, staying open up to whatsoever arises. Notice any sensations or emotions that come and allow them to simply exist there without judgment or interpretation. Let your feelings and thoughts only pass by as you breathe, relax your body, and gaze at yourself with no goal other than to be nowadays with yourself.

Detect if you are dissecting aspects of yourself—like focusing on specific body parts. Notice if your attention becomes very narrow and exacting, and if and so, run across if yous can expand it back to seeing your whole torso, your whole self, and notice any emotions on your confront. Observe this expansion and wrinkle of your attention and the thoughts and images that come to mind. Just noticing where your attention goes and any feelings that are associated with it without judgment. Hold a kind intention toward yourself as y'all do the exercise. You may exist surprised how much your view of yourself can change over the course of 5 or 10 minutes. (More tips for using the mirror to practice self-pity can be establish hither.)